I know you want to hurt yourself right now. I know you’re in so much pain that you can’t take it anymore. You just want to give up. I really know this feeling. Better than you might think. I know how you look in the mirror and hate what you see every day. How you always want to change yourself to someone you can’t be. How you want to brush your head against the wall and cut your arms open. Your whole body, until it bleeds. I know that feeling of disgust you get when you think of yourself. I know what it’s like to wake up in the morning, wishing you hadn’t. Wishing you weren’t alive. I know you don’t wanna be here anymore. And I know what it’s like to not want to die, but not want to live either. At one moment you want to be alive, at twice you want to die. And I’m sorry, darling. I’m so sorry you have to suffer through this life that doesn’t give you the happiness you need. I’m so sure that you didn’t deserve to live like that. I’m so sorry if you feel like you have no one to relate to, no one there for you. But darling, please never feel alone. Because I’m always going to be here for you. I will never ever give up on you. I know what it’s like to suffer from a mental disorder that kills you slowly more and more each day and night. But I need you to always remember something: You’re never alone. I’m never more than a couple thoughts away. You can tell me everything. My heart is some place you can always come if you want, and no one is going to judge you for your mistakes and your weaknesses, or your weird problems. Don’t ever forget that. You’re free to be yourself here. And I hope that in turn, you will begin to find your way again. Because there’s always hope, darling. And don’t you dare to look back at some point, go on.
Please do not remove the source.
Source: Hello Darling
I’ve come to a point in life to realise that what I feel does not matter and should not matter. What I want or need should not matter as well.
I’ve been a terrible friend who doesn’t love or care enough. I am sorry for not trying hard enough and gave in to what I felt and needed during that period of time.
I will walk away from what I have now. I don’t know where this path will take me but I know there will be more hurdles and losses to come.
I don’t want you to be in turmoil over your thoughts anymore. Let your mind win and listen. If you are reading this. This post will not justify how you feel. I know that.
I hope you’ll move on much happier with someone who will understand you better than me. I am sorry for not being able to achieve or reach the expectations or goals you’ve set for me.
I know in my heart you want the best for me and I am thankful for that. I have struggled and I do not know how to put into words how I am not able to do certain things you ask of me. I know you may not be able to understand where I’m coming from in that matter but I am trying. But I guess it’s never hard enough.
After all this I do not know what I should do or be what I should be anymore. I’m afraid of being a disappointment to anyone. And I do not know how to handle myself much more
Again I thank you for everything. I will remember you always in my heart for the every little things you did. Good bye and may your journey lead you to somewhere you will be at peace.
Writers Block Resource Master Post
You’ve just received an amazing reply that leaves your breathless from one of your rp partners. You can’t wait to get started on your reply! You open up that word doc and your fingers begin to move but wait a minute… you can barely get a sentence into your response before you become stuck. Your muse prances off back into the woods and you’re forced to hit your head against your keyboard for hours trying to come up with some mediocre reply in order to keep the plot going. Before this happens just STOP right there and take look at the ways that have successfully worked for me whenever I’m trying to lure my writing muse back out into the open.
Background Noise: At times when when I’m trying to seriously engage in heavy writing I need some sort of noise in my ears to prevent silence from becoming overwhelming or to block outside distractions. When I’m having a really difficult time concentrating music with lyrics can be too much. Which is why I turn to different sound sites to cultivate the right mood.
- Sound Sleeping - For creating custom relaxed sound mixes.
- Rainy Mood - The sounds of rain.
- August Ambience - The sounds of summer nights.
- Forest Mood - The sounds of the woodlands.
- Fire Crackling - An hour long recording of fire crackling.
- Soundrown - A collection of different sounds including coffee shop, waves, white noise, etc.
- iSerenity - A collection including typewriters to sprinklers.
- SimplyNoise - A collection specializing in color sound essentially white noise that goes in different octaves. White is highest, pink in the middle, and brown the lowest.
- NatureSoundPlayer - A collection including thunderstorms, rivers, frogs, and crickets.
- Coffitivity - For those really into the sound of coffee shops also allows you to play your own music with the coffee shop loop.
Music: Sometimes there is nothing like a bit of music to loosen up those fingertips. These sites & apps are what I use to find music suitable for my writing.
- 8Tracks - No download required and completely ad free. Search pre-made mixes to suit your current writing mood. Writing a steamy kiss scene? Search for a “love” mix. Writing for your otp? Search your otp’s name for inspired song selections.
- Fanmixes - I’ve linked to only one but tumblr is full of fanmix blogs that create playlist inspired by shows and pairings. Find specialized fanmixes with google search or role the dice with a tumblr “fanmix” tag search.
- Spotify - Free with minimal ads. Make your own playlist or search for others. A database that allows you to search any song and play it on demand. Easy Peasy Lemon Squeezy.
- Focus At Will - Lyric free music in different genres to help you focus.
Visual Stimulation: Sounds can be very stimulating but sometimes it takes a little more than that to be helpful so here are a few visual aids and ideas that can come in handy.
- Watch a Movie or TV Show - Preferably in the genre you’re wanting to do work in. If you’re involved in a fandom rp revisit the original show to get ideas for the character you’re playing or your oc. If you’re rping a certain plot use a site like Tastekid to new find movies or shows similar to ones that have already inspired you. Use Netflix & Hulu to actually watch the films.
- Search for Imagery - Search for inspiring photos and graphics with sites like Favim, Flickr, WeHeartIt, & the tumblr tag search engine.
- Read Work by Your Favorite Writers - Not to copy but chances are you enjoy your favorite authors because they inspire you. Use that to your advantage.
- Collect Inspiration - Create a second tumblr to collect your inspiration (music, videos, photos, etc). Use the tagging system to keep everything organized and easily accessible when you need it most. For instructions click here.
Actively Working: Sitting around and hoping to find inspiration may not be your thing. Here are a few tactics I use when I have a hard time getting a reply out of my head.
- Research - Chances are there is something you could use a little more information on in order to make your roleplaying all the more interesting and multidimensional. If you can’t seem to write take some time to research for your rp. It could be the setting, character’s occupations, time era, etc. Sites like Wikipedia are excellent sources of information.
- Development - Take the time to develop your character even further. Write up a list of adjectives that describe them or tie your character development into research. Find out the psychology behind your character and their motivations. Flesh out their backstory. Think about introducing minor characters (family members, friends, exs, etc) to give them more depth.
- "Method Act" - Create a tumblr or online journal as your character. Write about anything from their point of view. Reblog things they would want to reblog OR you can take personality test as your character to see what type of personality they’d have. It’s difficult but enlightening. This will help you get into your characters mind and possibly come up with a reply.
- Write, Just Write - It doesn’t have to be related to the story at all. Just start writing about your day to get yourself warmed up. Look up writing plots online. Then think of writing a self-para for your character in your rp but unrelated to your current reply even just a bit of dialogue could be igniting.
- Outline - Write down what you want to happen in the scene or what needs to happen, then make that happen.
- Plot - Think of what is going to happen after this scene and write it down or what you would like to happen in the rp in general. This can help immensely, viewing the bigger picture. You can do this with your partner for more fun and inspiration.
Other Tips: For when all else fails.
- Brew & Drink Tea -It will give you a caffeine boost and while you’re working on brewing the tea and waiting for it to be finished you can give yourself time to think.
- Converse - Talk with others or talk to yourself. It may seem foreign but actual human interaction may provide you with ideas for your own character. Draw from your own life. If no one is around imagine a bit of dialogue your character would say and have a bit of a conversation as them. Sounds crazy but if no one is around to see you won’t look it.
- Converse Part II - Talk to your partner about your block. Ask them if they have any ideas or suggestions on what your character should do chances are they have some ideal response in mind themselves. Now would be the time to ask for advice. :)
- Turn off the TV - If you’re finally sitting down to write get rid of visual noise.
- Get Out - Take a trip to the gas station for a pack of gum, walk to the mail box, go to the bookstore, etc. Get out of the house and let your commuting give you inspiration and time to think.
- Dance - At times your brain just needs a rush of physical energy to wake it up. Take a minute or two put on your favorite song and dance. It will put you in a better mood and help blank your mind to get creative.
The worst thing you can do when you hit a wall is get lazy and stop thinking. These resources and tips have worked me out of a few tough writing spots. Hopefully they work for you!
I am so glad I came across this post. Not only does it help with writing, it also helps when I need that background noise to draw or paint.